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Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!

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And then, I see it. This massive cheese wheel. I’m talking huge! I’m like a kid in a candy store. I ask the vendor, “How much for a slice?” He looks at me like I’m nuts. “You want a slice? Just buy the whole thing!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m a shepherd, not a millionaire!”

Man found dead in São Domingos de Rana (Cascais) with puncture wound to head